Men: Like Children Fighting Over A New Toy

Men are interesting creatures. Well, maybe not so much interesting as something a kin to watching a car crash, you don't want to see the aftermath, but you can't help but look in astonishment. I recently went to a local bar and noticed an attractive gent sitting at the bar and decided to go over and chat with him. What I didn't know was that he was there with his cousin, and this was about to turn into a game of tug-of-war.

The two charming young bucks are officially deemed "Baseball Slackjaw" because though it was his strong jaw and manly look that first drew me over to the bar, once he opened his mouth he sounded as if he had most likely bribed someone to get out of high school, and the baseball part is because he played for his current college, which I'm sure was the sole reason he was able to get into college in the first place as his homework was being done by his cousin, "Barback Fratboy" (the name speaks for itself, no?) So the three of us begin chatting and it becomes very apparent that both boys are interested in me. I mean, I wouldn't blame them, I'm hot as shit and I've got my tits on a platter and my "come get me" face on. At one point each child is listing things that makes him better than his cousin, and then physically grabbing my arm and pulling me to his side. Baseball Slackjaw says he's got an amazing body and is sincere and, you know, plays baseball for some community college, so he's big shit. Barback Fratboy counters with the fact that he's actually got a brain, he's got a huge penis (though, all of us bitches know that when they bust out and say that, it's never as good as they think it is), and he works at the bar we're at. I file the "I work at the bar" information in my head for later use for free drinks and such, and keep playing back and forth like a ping pong ball.

This becomes SO obvious that a table of 5 guys (also children apparently) start making bets about which guy is going to take me home. I see money being exchanged and laid out on the table, I'm dying laughing and Baseball and Barback are hopelessly fighting over nothing.

I went home alone that night and it wasn't because they weren't attractive or it wasn't a good time. The disgusting behavior of creating a tug-of-war over someone you've just met, with someone you are related to just says that your morals blow, plain and simple. So no sex in this one, but funny idiot childish behavior.

Men, do they ever grow up?