Thursday, May 12, 2011

Mr. Bites too Hard

I wouldn't describe myself as one of the kinkiest people out there, not by a long shot. Now that being said, I do enjoy a playful slap or nibble here or there, but leaving giant bruises? Unless you totally rocked my world, there is no reason for looking beat up. Which is why... Mr. Bites too Hard, is only going to have a one-time show.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Sexcapades: My Neck, My Back....

The Train strikes again! Oh Train, what to do with this one? He just can't keep focused! The sex was great physically, but mentally I guess he could have been a droid. The Train had a a profession that dealt with keen body awareness and knowledge. Why does this matter you ask in the middle of sex? Oh... you'll see...

Men: Like Children Fighting Over A New Toy

Men are interesting creatures. Well, maybe not so much interesting as something a kin to watching a car crash, you don't want to see the aftermath, but you can't help but look in astonishment. I recently went to a local bar and noticed an attractive gent sitting at the bar and decided to go over and chat with him. What I didn't know was that he was there with his cousin, and this was about to turn into a game of tug-of-war.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Bedtime Stories: Corrected Like a Bitch (of the Hound Variety)

This particular bedtime story came to me through the Train. The Train has many a good bedtime story, and I'm sure a few of them will be repeated right here for your reading and giggling pleasure. Though this story is short and sweet, it does pack a wallop.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Jewish Wonder

I find myself in sticky situations sometimes, and I mean that figuratively, and literally. This time it was the figuratively sense, though still funny in a "God damn it, why is this always so awkward" type of moment. So enter, "The Jewish Wonder"...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sexcapades: Get Out While You're On Top

If you're lucky, you've had great sex, but for every time there is great sex there is faceplant, horrid, bad, you should have just gone to bed instead sex. What takes a lot of knowledge is learning when the good, is going into the bad, and when to bail and take your toys home.

This story is how this particular boy got his crowning monkier... "Train." No, not because he railed me like a train, through truth be told it was frequently quite a "railing" experience more than it was on the side of something someone would consider "making love," but what fun is that anyway?

Monday, January 24, 2011

The First One To Pop Off

It has happened to me now more times than I can count, hence why I've coined the term "Wife Fluffer" and loved it and hold it bravely over my head, or across my chest. Probably across my chest since I have huge knockers and it would get noticed there more... yes, across my chest... "WIFE FLUFFER." Anywho, it happens in every great dating gal's life when one of her beau's decides to get down on one knee and look lovingly up into the woman of his dream's eyes and ask that one question that she's been longing to hear. Only thing is, that person isn't you and you're the one getting the text message. Well, that's at least how I heard about my first major "pop off" (Definition:  (1) to finish a sexual act with a completed orgasm (2) a very badly quoted term from "The Bad Girls Club" (3) propose marriage to some bitch.)

I will never forget the man, nor the moment.